I'm Sorry
by Nittles
Summary: Ruth & Harry make up after George's death. *Slight 8.2 spoiler*


**Spooks is owned by BBC/Kudos**

"I'm sorry I blamed you for what happened..." She dropped her eyes to study her feet. She'd finally apologised for being angry with him, but it didn't feel right. Taking a deep breath she added "... It wasn't fair."

Harry peeled his eyes away from the chewing gum on the pavement and looked up to face her.

"I'm sorry too Ruth..." Ruth looked up to meet Harry's gaze. He looked so pale and restless. "For everything, really. Truly sorry."

The silence that lingered was tense, and neither of them knew what to say that could make the situation any better than it already was. Both of them felt guilty, betrayed and hurt by recent events but taking it out on each other was not going to make things any better nor was it going to bring George back. Realising this, it was Ruth that decided to speak first.

"Everything Harry?" She questioned, her eyes finding his. She'd become a lot more confident since arriving back in London, and Harry had no doubt that the fidgeting, rambling Ruth was well and truly gone. "There are many things that have happened between us that you shouldn't be sorry for."

Her mind trailed back to that windy day on the bank as she said her goodbyes to Harry and began to head off in the direction of her new life. Unknown to her, Harry's thoughts were on a similar path. He knew exactly what she was referring to. _How could he forget?_

"I am sorry for everything Ruth. _Everything_. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you from the beginning, I'm sorry I sent you out on the field despite you constantly pleading to be left on the grid, I'm sorry you had to spend every night for three years sleeping alone because I was too stubborn to do anything, I'm sorry I made you lie about your step brother, I'm sorry I thought you naive, I'm sorry that I didn't take some of your views seriously, I'm sorry that I had to convince you I was dead for that stupid EERIE drill, I'm sorry I made you choose me over Tom, I'm sorry I didn't believe you about your dead drop, I'm sorry I let you take the blame, I'm sorry that you saved me, I'm sorry that you didn't let me tell you how I felt, I'm sorry that I let you say goodbye, I'm sorry that I let you walk away, I'm sorry I didn't get on that boat with you, I'm sorry that every time I look at your cats I think of you, I'm sorry that I keep your postcard with me everywhere I go, I'm sorry that my ignorance made you come back, I'm sorry you lost your husband, I'm sorry you lost Nico, but most of all Ruth, I'm sorry that despite you leaving, despite you being gone two years, despite you moving on, I still love you, and I'm sorry that you're hurting right now and there's nothing I can do to comfort you."

Harry took a deep breath. He'd said it. He'd said everything that had been causing him pain over the last five years. He'd finally opened up and confessed to her his true feelings, what he'd always felt. She'd known of course, that was why she didn't let him say it before she left.

"Oh Harry," she sighed entwining her hand with his. "I didn't let you tell me you loved me because I knew, in here..." She thumped her chest with her free hand for emphasis and continued. "If you'd have told me then nothing could have made me leave, I'd have stayed right here with you. But I knew Harry, as much as it pained me to leave you, that me staying would not have helped matters, and Mace would have found some form of revenge one way or another."

Harry squeezed her hand gently. She rested her hand against his chest and began to sob loudly. He removed his hand from hers and hugged her close. It didn't take much for her to realise that he was sobbing too, and instinctively snaked her arms around his waist.

Here they were, two people very much in love, separated through their desires to save each other, and reunited by fate. They both knew they'd been given a second chance, and Harry had already played his cards. Now it was time for Ruth to open up about her feelings, tell him the things about George she had refused to say in the warehouse. But for now, she was happy to bask in the warmth of his embrace, knowing that he had truly cared about her, loved her and wanted to protect her all this time. As the tears subsided, she smiled into his chest. _He was the one_. Now she just had to prove it to him.

End

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